Never ignore the pain of the child
All of us… every last one of us brings a package of pain to adulthood. It matters not the environment we came from. Care givers from both ends of the spectrum, from abject abuse to absolute love all contribute to the creation of our values, mores and beliefs as adults. I don’t judge the caregivers, that’s a story for another day.
What we are up to here is to understand the process of thoughts and behaviors that are transferred to the child as a normal course of events in any family. Over time the child turns learned thoughts and behaviors into his own beliefs and values as his parents did before him. Ultimately he makes up his life as a powerful creator thus acting out his own inherent self fulfilled prophecies.
In my book the Surrogate Family Model of Treatment for Women (2019) I described a child’s view of the world as looking through a keyhole to see just a mere slice of life. Although the view may be dramatic, it is but a narrow bit of pseudo-reality coloured by the family story, the child’s inexperience, and language limitations.
The child looks to his caregivers as gods. They are not only tall as gods should be, they also dictate what time you go to bed, and how long you stay at the table until you’ve eaten all your carrots. Your physical world consists of your house, your yard, and maybe the park and day care. Whether terrible or benign, these are the gods of your existence.
It doesn’t seem like much to base a lifetime on, but by 3-4 years of age the child has made up his mind about the universe and all the Laws of Nature. Without parental guidance his mindset will be fixed by the age of 6. What she believes she knows then will be written in stone even as she grows into maturity.
This 6 year old child’s belief will be the view of the universe for her on an emotional level throughout her entire life. She is a child in an adults body. When trauma and or substance use is a part of her experience she will paint the world accordingly not knowing that she will have little chance to get out.
Take a minute to think of the chaos the world is in now and the high profile “Leaders” at the helm. Are they mature? I wonder what their view through that keyhole was?? Do you see grown up politicians not allowing others to play in their sandbox? This will also be a fascinating study for another day.
What about you? What did you see through the keyhole? Did someone come and open the door so you could have a full pano of life, or were you left to make your own unschooled decisions throughout? Have the thoughts you had about Life at 6 become things? Have they become your destiny, your self- fulfilled prophecy?
Luckily we’re divine sentient beings with the power to change our thoughts into better things. Only it does take work and commitment to change the course of your life.
Think about the end game. Visualize what it will look like as a powerful creator? Start changing the story now! You have the power to create the life you dreamt about! But don’t wait even one moment more!
Starts with a thought!