Words Gone Wrong

This is a question for everyone reading this blog entry. Different views from different sides of the story need to be aired.

Her parents enable her… It is the wife’s fault, she enables him… She has manipulated her grandparents into enabling her. What the heck is enabling anyway?

How many readers have heard  someone take the hard line saying, “You have to change the locks. You must save yourself !!” What if it is a professional bluntly telling them to do this when it so goes against the grain?

What do you think when you hear a mother saying, “I don’t care… you call it enabling, I call it taking care of my baby, he will die out there!” 

Yes your right, all of these examples may have truth to them. Sometimes it seems like the easier softer way, just to give in and buy some peace and quiet.

Or maybe there’s defensiveness lashing out as anger when it sounds like they are being counselled to kill their child. Because maybe that’s how it is interpreted  to those mothers who have birthed their babies from a hard labour, wiped their noses, washed a skinned knee and still see them as her baby girl or boy.

Are these not necessarily the right words for the wounded people hearing them? So, who can in all honesty make righteous decisions about the rightness or the wrongness of a loved one’s beliefs?

Will this blunt truth help?

What if there is no such thing as right or wrong, only what works and what doesn’t work ? How would that change the whole meaning of enabling?

Finally what is the difference between helping and enabling?

Your thoughts please.

One thought on “BLOG….”

  1. I’d say the difference between helping and enabling is the difference between facilitating healthy actions and facilitating unhealthy actions.  The distinction can still be tricky.  It may not be obvious what is being facilitated (in reality, not in the would-be helper’s intentions) and whether it is healthy for the specific person being helped or enabled.

    Yes, absolutely! Family therapy is necessary to get the whole picture. Each of the participants would see it from different angles. Helping and enabling have different meanings for each person.


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