This is a question for everyone reading this blog entry. Different views from different sides of the story need to be aired.
Her parents enable her. It is the wife’s fault, she enables him. She has manipulated her grandparents into enabling her.
How many readers have heard someone take the hard line saying, “you have to change the locks. You must save yourself !! (What if it is a professional bluntly telling them?)
What do you think when you hear a mother saying, “I don’t care… you call it enabling, I call it taking care of my baby, he will die out there!”
Yes your right, all of these examples may have some truth to them. Sometimes it seems like the easier softer way, just to give in , buy some peace and quiet.
Or maybe there’s defensiveness lashing out as anger when it sounds like your being counseled to kill your child. Because maybe that’s how it is interpreted to those mothers who have birthed them from hard labor and wiped their noses and washed a skinned knee and still see them as her baby girl or boy.
Are these not necessarily the right beliefs for the wounded people hearing these words. So, can we in all honesty make righteous decisions about the rightness or the wrongness of a loved one’s beliefs?
Where did the righteous come to believe in that premise in the first place? Did they bring it with them from birth. We all know the answer to that; of course not. And even if there is a truth to it, is it the truth in every case? Is it universal truth or a personal truth?
Will this blunt truth help?
What if there is no such thing as right or wrong, but only what works and what doesn’t work ? How would that change the whole concept of enabling?
Finally what is the difference between helping and enabling?
Your thoughts please.