“You will sit there until you eat three bites”, I secretly lip-synched in unison with Mom.
Carrots, boiled, soft and stinky, horrid little orange things sitting limp and dead on my plate at almost every supper. I wondered why I gagged every time I ate one.
Then at one lonely supper after they left the table, I was sentenced to sit once again to eat my 3 bites of carrot. A bite fell off my fork onto the floor. I watched in horror as Pepe my little dog buddy snatched it up and swallowed the evidence in the blink of an eye!
My jaw dropped! I glanced quickly in the direction of Mom’s voice in the kitchen and back again. She didn’t notice. I immediately speared another bite and nonchalantly gave it a wiggle and let it roll off my fork, all the while looking in the direction of the kitchen. It rolled. Pepe caught up to it before it got too far. He ate the evidence before Mom poked her head in from the kitchen. “Good for you, just one more to go”, she exclaimed with a smile.
The next piece I picked up with my fingers and lobbed it at him. He caught it like a pro.
I was elated! At 6 years old I didn’t know what lying meant but I certainly saw the positive in just not saying anything, and pnow I had an accomplice to back me every time!(the dragon opened one eye).
It was hard being the only child and adopted as well. First of all there were no other kids to point fingers at to take some of the heat. Secondly, expectations ran high. With no siblings to slow me down and teach me caution I lied with impunity as a form of survival. It seemed like a good way to get out from under to me.
Fast forward to teenage days . A girlfriend came over. We were alone in the house, trusted
good girls. My friend asks me, “Does your dad have beer in the house”. “I don’t know, let’s look” I said. We found his Christmas whiskey and rum so we began to take sips and soon we were drunk. I replaced what we took with water. I knew Dad would never know.(the dragon opened the other eye).
Dad was called to come
get me from the police station. I don’t remember getting there. My friend had disappeared. Dad was furious, “Where did you get
the alcohol?” I thought as fast as my soggy brain would let me, “Uh, my girlfriend”. He didn’t go farther with it so either did I.
Suddenly I was no longer the golden child. I immediately became the troubled teenager. They were looking for lies in every word I uttered. It was the beginning of the period called, ‘If You Got the Name, Might as Well Play the Game’.
Would it have been a different outcome if Pepe hadn’t eaten my carrots? What would have happened if I hadn’t had to do sit there until I ate those three bites.
If that little girl hadn’t learned to lie would it have changed the trajectory of her life?
To this day I plant row upon row of carrots in my garden. Am I trying to appease the dragon? Am
I forgiven yet?
Refocus Advanced Recovery 